I remember like it was yesterday. In December 2014, I was thrilled and very grateful that a year that had largely been very difficult and terrible in many ways had shifted and was almost over. As I was organizing my condo, I was in my walk in closet and was a touch horrified at how many clothes and shoes I had. And the relationship between my bank accounts and my clothes and shoes. I decided that I did not want to continue to make the owners/designers/stores/shops any more wealthy than they presently were.

The new rules were that I could purchase items if one of two rules were true: (1) I was redeeming/using a gift card/gift certificate or (2) I actually needed the item. Like for real need, not want.

“It’s really cool because like I say wherever you journey it’s up to you and you’re free. So we have anyone from believers and some still go to church to atheists who no longer go to church and agnostics. The common value is that we respect one another in our journeys and we don’t try to correct or rebuke or question. So it’s a very unique kind of vital community that’s being offered there.”

“So a few things, one of the things that really surprised me, when I did that transition and shift from not being myself, to accepting myself; I did have a couple of people, from my old church, reach out to me via text, and just, ya know, pleading for my spiritual health, and I should turn to God, and here’s all these Bible verses. And I’m just thinking, ‘Girl, do you not know that I was raised in the church?!“

“It started with my oldest son who was born with a visual impairment. So both my boys have a genetic visual impairment that causes blindness, so they’re legally blind, but functioning. They can’t drive cars and they’ve lived with this their entire lives since they were babies. My oldest daughter has a genetic condition that affects her mobility so sometimes she uses a wheelchair, sometimes she uses a cane and it is very much an invisible illness on other days because she’s walking. But she does have to have a handicapped spot. And having these children, and let me specify, I’m not saying being transgender is a disability, but having these kids and seeing how they navigate the world and learn to advocate for themselves, and didn’t listen to people saying, ‘No, you can’t do that.’ They tried it on their own and discovered whether they could or could not do, allowed me when Sunny at a very young age, like from the time he could walk and talk and express himself and say what he wanted to wear and what he didn’t. And he started expressing that he wanted to be a boy. I let him lead. I didn’t project any of my fears, cause I had them. My confusion, cause I certainly was confused, right? I didn’t project any of that. It was a lot of asking questions. ‘What do you mean you want to be a boy? Or what does being a boy mean to you?’ Right and like, ‘All boys don’t have short hair. So do you think having short hair means that you’re a boy?’ There’s a lot of things I had to grapple with within myself, but I recognized the whole time that it was about me.”

I was stunned, and not at all shocked, when I started reading stories and watching video/hearing audio of Africans who were being denied access to neighboring countries and being blocked from fleeing the Russian invasion of Ukraine. It was and is unconscionable. I had to be still and lament, pray, and meditate on what I should do to come alongside these people, many of whom are international students. I thought about my Dad who was an international student in the US decades ago. I also think about why many Africans opted to pursue their degrees in Ukraine compared to the US or the UK. It was usually related to financial considerations. This broke my heart even more. The racism, mistreatment, and discrimination many are facing. This is also a class issue. To that end, I knew I had to do something and yet was unsure with whom I could partner.

I decided that the folks who had experienced the loss deserved to have a voice and the subsequent healing that would take place by talking. I organized a town hall (before town halls were en vogue) that was attended by the Ann Arbor Mayor, the Chief of Police for the Ann Arbor Police Department, the Fire Chief and concerned and affected community members (parents and students).